Studies Jokes / Recent Jokes

Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his clergyman father if there was any chance of him getting a car for Christmas, which was yet some months away.' Okay.' said his father' I tell you what I'll do. If you can get your' A' level grades up to' A's and' B's, study your bible and get your hair cut, I'll consider the matter very seriously.'
A couple of months later Danny went back to his father who said' I'm really impressed by your commitment to your studies. Your grades are excellent and the work you have put into your bible studies is very encouraging. However, I have to say I'm very disappointed that you haven't had your hair cut yet.
Danny was a smart young man who was never lost for an answer.' Look dad. In the course of my bible studies I've noticed in the illustrations that Moses, John the Baptist, Samson and even Jesus had long hair.'' Yes. I'm aware of that...' replied his father' ... but did you also notice they walked wherever they went?'

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it." Her friend asks "What's the puzzle supposed to look like?" The blonde says "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger." So, the blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to the table where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a minute, then studies the box. He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger." "Second, I'd advise you to have a cup of coffee and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box!"

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I cant figure out how to get started."Her friend asks, "Whats the puzzle of?""From the picture on the box, Id guess its a tiger," replied the blonde. The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "Im afraid that no matter what I do, Im not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box.""Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde."Because, you didnt buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."

Psychology: Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother.
Sociology: Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
Religion: Each prays for reconcilliation and/or curses God
Archaeology: One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up.
Theatre: "OH MY GOD! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
Biology: "You just wanted to get in my genes!"
Physics: Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down.
Journalism: "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."
Women's Studies: "HE did it!"
Business: Both decide that they're spending way too much money together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.
Italian: "Mama Mia!"
History: Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the past.
Geography: Both people decide to more...

One day this blonde calls her friend and says, “Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t even figure out how to start it. ”
Her friend asks, “What is it a puzzle of? ”
The blonde says, “From the picture on the box, it’s a tiger. ”
Well, the friend figures that he’s pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.
He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.
He turns to her and says, “Well, no matter what I do, I’m not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger. ”
She asks, “Oh, how come? ”
He says, “Look, never mind, let’s just relax, have a cup of coffee and we’ll put all these cornflakes back in the box”.

From the people who brought you "Buckets of Blood 3"
yes, it's the:
N. I. H. E. Dublin, Ireland
B.A. in COMMUNICATION STUDIES
Final year exam 1989
Time: 9 am till opening time.
Candidates must not write on more than two sides of the exam paper.
Marks will be deducted for bad spelling and writing which is difficult
to read.
1. What language is spoken by French Canadians?
2. Give important characteristics of ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions or give the
first names of the Osmonds.
3. What religion is the Pope? [Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, Anglican (ONE only)].
4. Who won the Second World War? Who came second?
5. What is a silver dollar made of? Gold, Silver, polyvinylchloride (ONE only).
6. Explain Le Chatelier's principal of dynamic equilibrium
force or spell your name in BLOCK capitals.
7. Approximately how many commandments were give more...

At a family get-together, a proud father was extolling the qualities of his only son, "My son is a fine sportsman and a splendid all-rounder. He plays centre-forward in football and half-back in hockey..." His friend interrupted and asked, "How about his studies?" The son who was around butted in, and said, "In studies I play right-back."