Study Jokes / Recent Jokes
Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well endowed female such as Baywatch actress Pamela Lee is equivalent to a 30 minute aerobics workout," declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Bouncer
Dr. Bouncer and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.
The study revealed that after five years, the chest watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Bouncer. "There's no question: Gazing at large more...
A Key to Scientific Research Literature
What is writtenTrue meaning
"It has long been known that..."I haven't bothered to look up the reference.
"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions..."The experiment didn't work out, but I figured I could at least get a publication out of it.
"The W-PO system was chosen for detailed study..."The lab next door already had some prepared.
"Three samples were chosen for detailed study..."The results on the others didn't make sense and were ignored.
"Accidentally strained during mounting..."Dropped on the floor.
"Handled with extreme care throughout the experiment..."Not dropped on the floor.
"Typical results are shown..."The best results are shown, i.e. those that fit the dogma.
Agreement with predicted curve:"Excellent" = fair
"Good" = poor
"Satisfactory" = more...
A girl has brought her fiance home for dinner. After dinner, the fiance and the girl's father go into the study for a man to man talk.
"So, what are you doing right now?" asks the father.
"I am a theology scholar," replies the fiance.
"Do you have any plans of employment?"
"I will study and God will provide."
"What about the children?" asks the man.
"God will provide."
"And your house and car?"
"Again, God will provide," says the fiance.
After the talk, the girl's mother asks the father, "So what did you two talk about?"
The man replies, "He has no plans of employment, but on the other hand, he thinks I'm God."
An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.
The last severe depression and banking crisis could not have been achieved by normal civil servants and politicians, it required economists involvement.
Contagion: A strory demostrating the possible outcomes from interlinkages in the financial markets.
Two economists sit down to play chess. They study the board for 24 hours and declare a stale-mate.
Q: What does it take to be a good economist?
A: An unshakeable grasp of the obvious!
Q: What`s the difference between mathematics and economics?
A: Mathematics is incomprehensible; economics just doesn`t make any sense.
An economist is someone who didn`t have enough personality to become an accountant.
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.
Q: What`s the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: more...
A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.
"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.
"A Torah scholar. Hmm." the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she's accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fianc.
The conversation more...
A recent study has found that most women are wearing the wrong bra size. The
nation's average bra size has also been steadily increasing from 34B to 36C, on
its way up to a 38C.
Top reasons to study Economics
1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.
5. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
6. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
7. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.
8. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.
9. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.