Stumpy Jokes

Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine.
Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy
said, "Ya know Mahtha, I'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane."
And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that aihplane
ride costs ten dollahs.... And ten dollahs is ten dollahs."
So Stumpy says, "By Jeebers Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old. If I don't go
this time I may nevah go." Martha replies "Stumpy, that there aihplane
ride is ten dollahs... and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."
So the pilot overhears them and says, "Folks, I'll make you a deal,
I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride
and not say one word, I won't charge you, but just one word and it's ten
dollars."
They agree and up they go.... The pilot does all kinds of twists and
turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does it one more...

One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.
Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...
The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a more...

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."
And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance."
Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still more...

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, ''Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane.'' And every year Martha would say, ''I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.''
One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, ''Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.''
Martha replied, ''Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.''
The pilot overheard them and said, ''Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars.'' Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to more...

Stumpy Grider and his Wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said "Ya know Mahtha, Ah'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane".
Every year Martha would say, "Ah know, Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs...and ten dollahs is ten dollahs".
So Stumpy says, "By Jeebers Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old, if I don't go this time I may nevah go".
Martha replies, "Stumpy, that theah aihplane ride is ten dollahs...and ten dollahs is ten dollahs".
So the pilot overhears them and says, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE word, I won't charge you, but just one word and it's ten dollars".
They agree and up they go... the pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard; he does it one more time, still nothing... so fair is fair and he more...