Sum Jokes

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

What a Chinese Restaurant Menu might sound like. SUC MI PUGODA
CUNTONESE CUISINE
6969 Fellatio Blvd.
Escondildo, CA 12698
281-6969
A LA CARTE DINNER COMBINATIONS $2. 69 each Includes Smeg Roll and Fortune Nookie Cum Drop Soup 1. Goo In Hand..............$9. 69 Fresh every 2. 7 days For those dining alone Pee Yu Platter 2. Goo Wee Chick............$6. 99 Clothes pins extra Sloppy seconds no extra charge Hoo Flung Poo 3. Cum Too Soon..............$6. 99 Napkins and raincoats provided Order early, these go fast Suc Sum Tit 4. Suc Mi Wang..............$6. 99 Children's Special Traditional Chinese Meatloaf Yung Poon Tang 5. Sum Dum Chick............$4. 69 No take out orders You get what you pay for LUNCHEON SPECIALS 6. Fuc Mei Slo..............$6. 69 Not available after 10: 00 PM Sum Yung Chick........$6. 99 7. Lik Mi Clit..............$6. 99 Different and Delicious A Lip Smacking Oriental Delicacy Won Hung Lo...........$6. 99 8. Cho Kon It...............$9. 99 Not more...

A lawyer finds out he has a brain tumor, and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff - how come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?" The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?", and it's inoperable - in fact, it's so large, they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains - there's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for the princely sum of $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says, "This is a ripoff - how come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?" The doctor replies, more...

Theorem: 1 = 1/2: Proof: We can re-write the infinite series 1/(1*3) + 1/(3*5) + 1/(5*7) + 1/(7*9)+... as 1/2((1/1 - 1/3) + (1/3 - 1/5) + (1/5 - 1/7) + (1/7 - 1/9) +. .. ). All terms after 1/1 cancel, so that the sum is 1/2. We can also re-write the series as (1/1 - 2/3) + (2/3 - 3/5) + (3/5 - 4/7)+ (4/7 - 5/9) +. .. All terms after 1/1 cancel, so that the sum is 1. Thus 1/2 = 1.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life; it goes on.