Surgeon Jokes / Recent Jokes

At an international meeting, two surgeons were having an argument. The Indian surgeon was saying, "No no no, I am telling you it is Woomba"
The African surgeon is saying, "No Man, it is Whoooooommmmmm"
They go on like this for about 10 minutes. Up comes the English surgeon, and interrupts them. "Excuse me chaps, but I do believe that the word you are trying to say is "Womb."
After he has gone away, the African turns to the Indian and says, "I bet you he has never even seen a hippopotamus, never mind heard one fart under water!

At an international meeting, two surgeons were having an argument. The Indian surgeon was saying, "No no no, I am telling you it is Woomba"The African surgeon is saying, "No Man, it is Whoooooommmmmm"They go on like this for about 10 minutes. Up comes the English surgeon, and interrupts them. "Excuse me chaps, but I do believe that the word you are trying to say is "Womb."After he has gone away, the African turns to the Indian and says, "I bet you he has never even seen a hippopotamus, never mind heard one fart under water!

As an architect watched a mechanic remove engine parts from his car, a surgeon, waiting for his own car to be repaired, walked over. They introduced themselves, and began talking about their lines of work.
"You know," said the architect, "I sometimes believe a mechanic's work is as complicated as the work that we do."
"Perhaps," the surgeon commented. "But let's see him do it with the engine running."

In a bi-partisan move, President Bush has nominated Dr. Hannibal Lecter as his candidate for US Surgeon General.
"I think Dr. Lecter will serve with pride, fava beans, and a nice Chianti," Bush announced.
In another announcement, Special Agent Clarice Starling will become the new FBI director. She's expected to work closely with the new Surgeon General on a case concerning missing former Vice President Al Gore. President Bush had recently arranged a meeting between Gore and Lecter.
Lecter was the last person to see Gore before Gore's sudden disappearance in early January. Lecter noted that he, "enjoyed having Gore for dinner," but was upset at how Gore, or, rather the *subject* of Gore kept "coming up." "I'm sick to my stomach over this," Lecter said.
President Bush didn't seem concerned with the disappearance of his rival for the office. "I think it's all crap by now, don't you?"

A woman who was diagnosed as being terminally ill was told she needed a brain transplant using a 1-1/2 pound brain.
She was also informed that a 1-1/2 pound brain of a surgeon would cost $500 and the 1-1/2 pound brain of a movie star $600.
She replied that since her father had been a famous lawyer she would prefer a lawyer brain. That's fine, she was told, but that will cost you $10,000.
What? she replied incredulously.
If a surgeon's brain only costs $500, why does a lawyer's brain cost $10,000?
Do you have any idea how many lawyers it takes to get 1-1/2 pounds of brain? the doctor replied.

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car,when he spotted the world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The
heart surgeon was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor, please come on over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic where he stood. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So doctor, look at this here. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind' em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The doctor smiled, leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic"Try doing it with the engine running!"

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix' em, put' em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."