Swam Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were three very fat and very unfit sumo wrestlers on an island, and they all wanted to get off. So the first really stupid sumo swam half way got tired and came back. Then the second sumo who was reasonably dumb swam half way got tired and came back. Then the third sumo who was smarter than the other two walked across the bridge.

Sardar Banta Singh was Punjab's long distance swimming champion. He had crossed and re-crossed all Punjab's rivers in flood without any difficulty. Somebody told him that if he swam the English Channel, he would earn international fame. So Banta arrived in England and began his swim to France. Half way across the 22-mile channel, he decided he couldn't make it to the French Coast. So he swam the same distance back to England.

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing herfull lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner.The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his softmurmurs of assurance.He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothlyreleased her from her constraining attire. With a sigh ofsurrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh.He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldlytaking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that hadgone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasywas within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!"Then, with a sudden more...

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette found themselves trapped on an island about 20 miles from the mainland.
The redhead began swimming, got tired after a couple of miles, turned around and swam back.
The brunette then started to swim, but got tired after six miles, so she turned around and swam back.
The blonde jumped in the water, swam nearly seventeen miles, got tired, turned around and swam back.

This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball. So he walked down and said to the man, "Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but I noticed you have a small head. Is this a birth defect?" The man said "No, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the German's in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship so I swam to shore. One day a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish I wanted to return to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She said, "I can't grant that wish because mermaids can't have sex."
So I said, "How about a little head?"

This guy went into a bar and ordered a beer. He happened to look down the bar and see a man sitting there with a head the size of a cue ball. So he walked down and said to the man, "Excuse me sir, I don't mean to be rude but I noticed you have a small head. What's the deal?"
The man said "Oh, I got this in the war. My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. I was the only survivor on the ship so I swam to shore.
One day, a mermaid swam up to me and said she would grant me three wishes. For my first wish I wanted to return safely to the U.S. The mermaid granted that wish. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Wish granted. My third wish was to have sex with the mermaid. She said, 'I can't grant that wish because mermaids can't have sex.'
So, I said, 'How about a little head?'"

There were three girls a brunette, a blonde and a redhead.They were stuck in island and the brunette said, "I am going to try and go back home, so she swam for 20 minutes then got tired so she drowned.Then the redhead tried to go home and she swam for 30 minutes, got tired and drowned.So the blonde was alone and she to tried to go home as well and she swam longer than the others that she could see the surface of the state.But she got tired and swam back!