Swede Jokes

A Finn and a Swede were having an argument on who's mother tongue was the more beautiful of the two.
As they were unable to reach an agreement, they decided to ask an English linguist to act as a neutral expert judge on the matter.
The renown researcher asked both parties to translate the following verse by Percy Shelley to their respective languages:
Island, island,
Grassy island,
Grassy island's bride.
The Finn answered first. His translation was:
Saari, saari,
Hein

A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. They each got to choose which way they would die. The norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. The french saw this as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. The same thing happened to the dane. Then they asked the swede how he wanted to die. "I think I`ll die by hanging, that guillotine doesn`t work anyway," he said.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Swede!
Swede who?
Swede Adeline! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Swede!
Swede who?
Swede smell of success!

A swedish man was bored. He was bored with his work, bored with his life ingeneral. He felt as there was nothing waiting for him in this life.... .. until one day, in the breakfast table, he was reading the morning paper, when he saw an article, which would change his life. It said: "... Scientist's had found out, that somewhere in Africa, one could stillfind tribes of genuine cavemen, untouched by civilization. Only thingneeded was to find the correct cave and shout "Wohoo!!" and the tribe wouldanswer to this call." "This is it!" the swede thought. "This is what I've been waiting for! I'llsell everything I own, go to Africa, find these cavemen, and become richand famous!"And so he did. He sells everything, moves to Africa and starts looking forthe tribe. But cave after cave after cave, no answer. No cavemen. Until one day, yet another cave, and another yell: "Juhuuu!!" And then heheard it! " WWOOOOUU WOOOOOO! !!! " more...

A swede was travelling on the night-train, but he couldn`t find his seat. The conductor asked him if he could approximately remember where it was. "No," the swede said, "all I can remember is that there was a river outside of it."