Finn Jokes

A Finn and a Swede were having an argument on who's mother tongue was the more beautiful of the two.
As they were unable to reach an agreement, they decided to ask an English linguist to act as a neutral expert judge on the matter.
The renown researcher asked both parties to translate the following verse by Percy Shelley to their respective languages:
Island, island,
Grassy island,
Grassy island's bride.
The Finn answered first. His translation was:
Saari, saari,
Hein

Alice's PDP-10
With thanks (and apologies) to Chris Stacy, Alan Wechsler, Noel Chiappa, Larry Allen, and of course Arlo Guthrie, and particularly to Ann Marie Finn who is a kind soul and not at all like the person portrayed herein.-sra 3 May 85
This song is called "Alice's PDP-10". But Alice doesn't own a PDP-10, in fact Alice isn't even in the song. It's just the name of the song. That's why I called this song "Alice's PDP-10".
You see, it all started about two incompatible monitor versions ago, about two months ago on a Tuesday, when my friend and I SUPDUP'd over to MIT-OZ to pick up some hackers to go out for a Chinese dinner. But AI hackers don't live on MIT-OZ, they live on various assorted lispms and such, and seeing as and how they never log in except via the file server, they hadn't gotten around to doing filesystem garbage collection for a long time.
We got over there, saw 600 pages free, 10000 pages in use on a 5 pack PS:, and decided it more...

Tom Finn, the noted biologist, was stumped. He had spent months studying the little green frogs in the Keefo swamp. Despite all efforts at predator control, population was declining at an alarming rate. Finn finally went to the chemistry department at his college to see if anyone there might be able to help. Tom looked into the problem and came up with a solution. The little frogs had succumbed to a chemical change in the swamp's water and simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce. Tom brewed up a new adhesive, made from a dash of this, a toss of that and, most critically, one part sodium. "You mean...?" said Jim. "Yes," said Tom. "They need a mono-sodium glue to mate!"

Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake.

Five Scandinavian men were going to prove who was man enough to endure a really hot sauna. One of the men was an electrical engineer and wired the benches such that if your butt left the surface, an alarm would sound, ending the contest for the unlucky participant.
The ambient temperature of the sauna was set to rise from 80 degrees Celsius in half-degree increments every minute. In 40 minutes, it would be at 100 degrees, the boiling point of fresh water. A device was created so that water was poured onto the hot rocks at a rate of about 30 milliliters (one ounce) every minute. It was going to be a pressure cooker.
To keep things fair, the men were completely undressed. They drew straws to see who would sit where on the top bench. Closer to the rocks was a slight disadvantage - the one sitting there would get the steam a full 1/2 second before the last person.
It started off well. The men were joking, but soon it got seriously warm. It wasn't long before the highest part more...