Talmud Jokes

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. Hisfather took him into his study and said, "I'll make a deal with you. Youbring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut andthen we'll talk about it."After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father ifthey could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father'sstudy where the father said - "Son, I've been very proud of you. You havebrought your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut." The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." The rabbi said, "Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked.

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. Hisfather took him into his study and said, "I'll make a deal with you. Youbring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut andthen we'll talk about it." After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father ifthey could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father'sstudy where the father said - "Son, I've been very proud of you. You havebrought your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut." The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." The rabbi said, "Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked.

"Rabbi," the man said, "Please explain the Talmud to me."
"Very well," he said. "First, I will ask you a question. If two men climb
up a chimney and one comes out dirty, and one comes out clean,
which one washes himself?"
"The dirty one," answers the man.
"No. They look at each other and the dirty man thinks he is clean
and the clean man thinks he is dirty, therefore, the clean man washes
himself. Now, another question. If two men climb up a chimney and one
comes out dirty, and one comes out clean, which one washes himself?"
The man smiles and says, "You just told me, Rabbi. The man who is clean
washes himself because he thinks he is dirty."
"No," says the Rabbi. "If they each look at themselves, the clean man knows
he doesn't have to wash himself, so the dirty man washes himself.
Now, one more question. If two men climb up a chimney and one more...

A young boy had just earned his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car.
His father took him into his study and said, "I will make a deal with you. You bring your school grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut, and then we'll talk about it."
After a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father's study where the father said, "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your school grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut."
The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know Dad, I've been
thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair andNoah
had long hair."
The rabbi said, "Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked."