Tarmac Jokes / Recent Jokes

A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac. The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac? The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?""The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

Man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
The barman asks “What’ll it be? ”
The man says, “I’ll have half a bitter, and one for the road. ”

There are two pieces of tarmac sitting by the side of the bar, and they are having a drinking contest, to see which one is the hardest.
After 12 shots of vodka, both pieces of tarmac are still unfazed, when suddenly the door opens and a red piece of tarmac walks in.
Upon which seeing the red piece of tarmac, one piece of tarmac runs into the john.
An hour later, he ventures out and discovers that the red piece of tarmac has left, so he ventures out and upon seeing the other piece of tarmac, he is asked why he ran off.
To this he replies ''Haven't you heard about him?, He's a CYCLE-PATH !!!''

DOS AIR - All the passengers go out into the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets into the
air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again.. Then they grab the plane again, push it
back into the air, hop on, etcetera.
WINDOWS 95 AIRLINES - The terminal is very neat and clean. The attendants are all very attractive and
the pilots very capable. The fleet is immense. After your plane arrives 6 months late, you begin
to wonder why it has not arrived yet. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the
clouds, and at 20, 000 feet it crashes without warning.
MAC AIRWAYS - The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the
same. When asked questions about the flight they reply that you don't want to know, don't need
to know, and would you please return to seat and watch the movie.
OS/2 SKYWAYS - The terminal is almost empty, with only a prospective passengers milling about. more...