Tattoo Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of myright thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside ofmy left thigh.''No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and getup on the table.'After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes.The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly, 'and Ican prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shopand grabs the first man off the street he can find;it happens to be the town drunk.'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreadingher legs. 'Do you know who these men are?'The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutesand says. 'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'

A woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good. The woman then instructs him to put a Santa Clause with "Merry Christmas" up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.
As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says "if you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"
She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."