Tattoo Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman goes into her gynecologist for her annual pelvic exam. When the doctor starts the exam, she says, "Hey doc, do you see my new tattoo?"
"Where is it? What is it of?" he asks as he starts looking at her arms, legs and feet.
"Down there. It's of a cute little mouse."
He continues looking, giving a thorough examination of her thighs. "I swear, I don't see it."
She continues telling him that there is a tattoo for another minute or so, until he is flustered from not finding it. Once she sees this, she says, "You sure you don't see a tattoo of a mouse down there? No big deal, my pussy must have eaten it."
This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh. He had seen weirder so he didn't think too much about it.
Then she wanted a Santa tattooed on the upper most inner side of her right thigh. After he finished the last tattoo, he just couldn't help asking her, "Why the turkey and Santa?"
She replied, "I'm tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!"
This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh. He had seen weirder so he didn't think too much about it.Then she wanted a Santa tattooed on the upper most inner side of her right thigh. After he finished the last tattoo, he just couldn't help asking her, "Why the turkey and Santa?"She replied, "I'm tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!"
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that he would like a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his penis. Disgusted, the tattoo artist replies,"I do NOT tattoo ANYTHING on ANYONES penis." The man repeats, "Please, I really, really, want a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my penis." The tattoo artist again tells the man that he will not tattoo a hundred dollar bill on his penis. After a while of begging and pleading for a hundred dollar bill to be tattooed on his penis, the tattoo artist finally says, "Alright, give me three good reasons why you want a hundred dollar bill tattooed on your penis?" To which the man replied, "Well, I like to play with my money, and, I like to watch my money grow, and... my wife can blow a hundred bucks in 30 seconds"
There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll.He brought her back to the States and they were very happy.He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had. Every day it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Every night it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have."Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, "Beautiful Butt."So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, "There is no way I can get "Beautiful Butt" on your tiny little beautiful butt." But I can put a nice "B" on each cheek which will stand for "Beautiful Butt."A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B's. Well the big day arrives and after a candle light more...
A gay guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks to have a car tattooed on his dick.
The Tatooist asks 'What kind of car?'
He replies, "Better make it a 4x4 truck as it goes through a lot of shit."
There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll. He brought her back to the States and they were very happy. He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she had. Every day it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Every night it was, "Darling I love you and what a beautiful butt you have." Well his birthday was getting close and she wanted to surprise him with a tattoo on her rear end that said, "Beautiful Butt." So she finds a reputable tattoo artist and explains what she wants. Well the artist asks her to turn around and after a brief pause says, "There is no way I can get "Beautiful Butt" on your tiny little beautiful butt." But I can put a nice "B" on each cheek which will stand for "Beautiful Butt." A bit disappointed, she agrees and leaves with her B's. Well the big day arrives and after a candle light more...