Tattoo Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. Why did the dumb blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A. So her male would get delivered to the right box.
A man walks into a tattoo parlour, and asks the tattoo artist to tattoo a picture of a hundred dollar bill on his penis. The tattoo artist, being a sensitive man, refuses, telling the man that it would be too painful to do that.
The man insists on having it done, so the tattoo artist tells him that if he can come up with three good reasons to have it done, he would do it.
The man tells him, " One, I like to play with my money. Two, I like to watch my money grow. And three, my wife will blow a hundred bucks everyday!"
There is a woman sitting with a bunch of guys at a bar.
The guys were all showing off their tattoos and uttering sexist remarks as to how women cannot take enough pain to get a tattoo.
After listening to the guys gloat for a little bit longer, the woman states, "Well, I have a tattoo, too!"
The men all look surprised.
The woman continues, "I have a tattoo of a cute little grey mouse in a rather private place. Do you want to see my tattoo?"
The guys are getting excited as the crowd starts gathering around the woman..
Without much ado, the woman stands up, undoes her pants and drops them. She then looks down, looks kind of confused, and gives the men a wimpish smile.
One of the men asks, "What's wrong, sweet lady?"
The woman, with a big smile on her face, answers, "Oh, nothing, I can't show you my little mouse tattoo after all. My pussy must have eaten it."
A woman is picked up in a bar by DENNIS RODMAN, the famous basketball player, known for the wildly changing color and style of his hair.
They liked each other and the woman went back with him to his hotel room.
he removed his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she saw that on his right arm was a tattoo which said "REEBOK".. She thought that was a bit odd and asked him about it.
Rodman responded"When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and reebok pays me for advertisement".
A bit later, his pants came off and "Puma" Tattooed on his leg.
he gave the same explanation for the unusual tattoo..
Finally, his underwear came off and the woman screemed and ran to the corner of the room.
Rodman said,"what's wrong?"
The woman remained quiet and just pointed at the tattoo on his penis which read "AIDS". Finally she said,"I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"
He more...
A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks' Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of myright thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside ofmy left thigh.''No problem,' says the artist.' Strip from the waist down and getup on the table.'After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly,' and Ican prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shopand grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk.'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreadingher legs.' Do you know who these men are?'The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutesand says.' I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "Ill do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it." The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow, and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.