Tattoo Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man entered a tattoo parlor on the lower west side and wanted to get a tattoo.' What can I do for you?' asked the tattoo artist.' Well,' the man replied,' I want a $100 dollar bill tattooed on my donger.'' I've never that request before. Do you mind if I ask why?'' Well, I really like watch my money grow. I also love to play with my money and, I'll tell you, My wife can blow a hundred dollar's better than anyone I've known!'

A very tall man walked into a bar, and a lady recognized him as a famous professional basketball player. They began to talk, and eventually went back to his place. They began to kiss, and the man took off his shirt. On his arm, he had a tattoo that said, "REEBOK".
"What's that?" the lady asked. "Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me."
Then the man took off his pants, and on his leg, she saw a tattoo that said, "NIKE". "What's that?" the lady asked again. "Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV."
Then the man dropped his underwear, and on his penis he had a tattoo that said, "AIDS". "You didn't tell me you had AIDS!" the lady screams.
"No, no! Calm down," the man replied. "This will say ADIDAS in a minute."

The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement.

What are imitation rhinestones?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Let's say you stuff a cat's tail up his ass until it peeks out of his mouth, and you give the tip of its tail a sound yank. Would the cat turn inside out?

I recently changed my name to Resident Occupant. The local post office would like to speak with me but they're not sure where I live. Last week they used a barge to deliver my mail. But I don't think I'm getting it all. So if you happen to see any of it...

I'm getting a tattoo. It's going to be all over my whole body--a tattoo of myself. Only taller.

I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was "woman".

I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it.

My neighbors more...

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

One day a man decided to geta tattoo on his penis, his wife asked were have u been all day, he said to get a tattoo on his penis. The wife asked why? He said so u can stay home and blow money!!

One day a man decided to geta tattoo on his penis, his wife askedwere have u been all day, he said to get a tattoo on his penis. Thewife asked why? He said so u can stay home and blow money!!

A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100 dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one good reason for it." The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow, and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.