Teaspoon Jokes / Recent Jokes

You will need the following:

A cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Try another cup. Turn off the mixer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain the nuts. Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. more...

Line 1. Butter, a minimum of half a pound (8 oz.), but not to exceed 1 (one)
pound. (See line 4.)
Line 2. Sugar, light brown or white, unless you or your spouse
had a financial account in a foreign country in 1990, in which case
dark brown sugar must be used. Do not substitute molasses or honey.
Use 1 (one) cup and adjust to taste.
Line 3. Eggs, six or half a dozen, whichever is greater.
Line 4. Semisweet chocolate, 6 oz. Nonfarm families may choose
the optional method of using cocoa powder. If you elect the Cocoa
Method, add 1/2 oz. (One Tablespoon) of butter to each 3
tablespoons of cocoa. Multiply by .9897 per ounce of substitution.
For adjustments to sugar, see pg. 29. Add total of additional
butter to Line 1 (above). Sugar adjustments should be reflected in
final total of Line 2. For additional details on cocoa conversion,
see Form 551.
Line 5a. Flour, white. If you were a federal, state or local
government employee, more...

Dear Hot Ramen, I have a problem. Every morning at 6am the workers come into my neighbor's apartment, which is right next door to mine and start pounding on the walls. They just pound and pound until noon, take an hour rest and then pound some more. I work at home and I'm not getting any work done. My boss is threatening to fire me. I want to kill them, but my neighbor is hot and I've been wanting to get into his pants since I moved in. What should I do? Signed,
Neighborly Love (not related to Courtney)
Dear Neighborly, Aiyah! First thing- Get earplugs quick! Then talk to your neighbor about your little disturbance, but be sure to wear your earplugs so that your neighbor needs to shout to be heard. Keep asking him to speak louder and finally you can suggest you go into your apartment where it is not so noisy. When he comes in quickly take out the earplugs and feed him some
of Hot Ramen's speeecial Ooh-la-la Ramen Romance Soup. This soup is from an ancient soup recipe more...