Testicle Jokes / Recent Jokes

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
The small guy faints.
The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, "What's wrong with you?"
The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"
The big dude looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around'."

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."The small guy faints.The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, "What's wrong with you?"The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"The big dude looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around'."

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him.The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!"
mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors.Snip-snip-snip-snip on the rightside... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and more...

A man is driving down a country road, when his car breaks down. Noticing a house nearby, he walked up to the front door, knocks, and is greeted by an old Chinese man.
"My car has broken down and I was wondering if I would be able to spend the night?" he asks.
"Okay, but don't touch my daughter," replies the old Chinese man, "or I will unleash three of the worst Chinese proverbs on you."
A while later, the man catches sight of the daughter and can't help but notice how gorgeous she is. Ignoring the old Chinese man's warning, he invites the daughter into his room and they spend the next couple of hours making hot, passionate love.
When the man wakes up in the morning, he feels a heavy weight on his chest. Opening his eyes and looking to see what's causing this feeling, he notices a rock sitting there. On the rock is a card that reads - 1st Chinese proverb: Heavy weight on man's chest. He quickly gets up and throws the rock out the more...

While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with an onion.
Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. "How's your sex life?" the doctor asked.
"Pretty good," the man said, to the doctor's relief. But then he added, "I've had some strange side effects."
"What's that?" the doctor asked anxiously.
"Well, every time I pee, my eyes water. When my wife gives me a blow job, she gets heartburn. And, every time I pass a hamburger stand, I get turned on."

A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. He knocks on the door and is greeted by an old Chinese man with a long grey beard.
"I'm lost," said the man, "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as well, as she couldn't keep her eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. Near dawn, he quietly crept back to his room so the old man more...

A guy was lost in a forest and had nowhere to live. Then he spotted a cottage. He knocked on the door and an old man came out. He allowed the guy to stay as long as he didn't touch the old man's daughter. The old man warned him not to or else he would get 3 chinese tortures. At dinner he meets the daughter and she is the most beautiful person that he ever saw. During the night he can't take it anymore so he goes and has sex with the girl. Next morning he wakes up with a huge rock on him. On the rock it says torture#1 big rock. The guy decides to throw the rock out the window, so he does. Then he sees a note on the window that says torture#2 big rock tied to left testicle. So he jumps out the window after the rock. On the way down he spots a huge billboard that says torture#3 right testicle tied to leg of bed.