Thigh Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks' Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of myright thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside ofmy left thigh.''No problem,' says the artist.' Strip from the waist down and getup on the table.'After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes. The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly,' and Ican prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shopand grabs the first man off the street he can find; it happens to be the town drunk.'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreadingher legs.' Do you know who these men are?'The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutesand says.' I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'

At a world conference, during liesure time the world leaders met in the SAUNA.
Amoung them were John Major of Britain Bill Clinton from the
USA & Premadasa from Sri Lanka.
Suddenly there was a ring tone - John Major raised his hand to his ears and started talking - later said that he has a cell phone embeded in his palm.
Few minutes later - there was a BEEP - Bill Clinton stood up - pressed his thigh and said - I have a pager in my thigh.
WOW - Premadasa was totally confused about the HI TECH. He thought for awhile and proceeded to the washroom.
He appeared with a piece of toilet paper jutting out of his BUTT CRACK - the other leaders started to chuckle and pointed out the toilet paper.
Premadasa calm as ever proceeded to his seat - and informed the gathering - dont get excited I am getting a FAX msg.

This woman walks into a tatoo shop and asks for a tatoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. why do you want two tatoos there? So she says because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years.|Santa pointed his finger in the boys face^A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap. Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y." Nope! replied George. Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face. You want C-A-N-D-Y. Nope! replied George. Then just what the hell do you want, ask Santa. George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger!

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman
became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual
manner.

He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her
back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then,
he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand
over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and then the other.
His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then
started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the women was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.

The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

"Why are you stopping darling?" she more...

This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh. He had seen weirder so he didn't think too much about it.
Then she wanted a Santa tattooed on the upper most inner side of her right thigh. After he finished the last tattoo, he just couldn't help asking her, "Why the turkey and Santa?"
She replied, "I'm tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!"

This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner side of her left thigh. He had seen weirder so he didn't think too much about it.Then she wanted a Santa tattooed on the upper most inner side of her right thigh. After he finished the last tattoo, he just couldn't help asking her, "Why the turkey and Santa?"She replied, "I'm tired of my husband complaining that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!!!"

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of myright thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside ofmy left thigh.''No problem,' says the artist. 'Strip from the waist down and getup on the table.'After two hours of hard work, the artist finishes.The woman sits up and examines the tattoos.'That doesn't look like them!' she complains loudly.'Oh yes it does,' the artist says indignantly, 'and Ican prove it.' With that, he runs out of the shopand grabs the first man off the street he can find;it happens to be the town drunk.'Well, what do you think?' the woman asks, spreadingher legs. 'Do you know who these men are?'The drunk studies the tattoos for a couple of minutesand says. 'I'm not sure who the guys on either side are, but the fellow in the middle is definately Willie Nelson!'