Throw Jokes / Recent Jokes

A preacher was completing a sermon on temperance. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river!"

The congregation nodded their approval. With even greater emphasis the preacher added, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river, too!"

The people clapped and said, "AMEN."

"And if I had all the whiskey in the world," said the preacher, "I'd take it and throw it into the river!"

As the reverend sat down, the song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365:' Shall We Gather at the River.'"

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in he world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down.
The head elder then stood and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river".
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry Apes? A banana split!

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'dtake it and throw it into the river."With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365:"Shall We Gather at the River."

The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the' fridge or sofa or under the bed.
I must shake the rainwater off of my coat before entering the house.
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead or decaying mammals, fish or fowl just because I like the way they smell.
"Kitty box crunchies," although they are tasty, are not food.
I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my owners will think more...