Tombstone Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative:He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads:

"Here lies Shirley, wife of John Fergul, L. L. D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigration Legal Services "

Suddenly, the lawyer bursts into tears. His brother says, "You should cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's tombstone! "

Through his tears, the lawyer sobs, "You don't understand! They left out the phone number and Email!"

What did one tombstone say to the other tombstone?

Don't take me for granite.

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary. The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: "Here lies my wife..... cold as ever" Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: "Here lies my husband..... stiff at last"

When her recently diseased husband’s will was read, a widow learned he had left the greater part of his fortune to another woman.
Furious, she raised to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone.
“Sorry, lady, ” said the stonecutter. “I inscribed “Rest in peace” on your orders. I can’t change it now. ”
“Very well, ” she said grimly. “Just add ‘Until We Meet Again. ’”

A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary.
The husband gave his wife a gift ~ a tombstone, with the inscription: “Here lies my wife ~ cold as ever. ”
Later, the furious wife bought a return gift ~ also a tombstone ~ on which the inscription read: Here lies my husband ~ stiff at last. ”