Topic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A mathematician gives a talk intended for a general audience. The talk is announced in the local newspaper, but he expects few people to show up because nobody who is not a mathematician will be able to make any sense of the title: Convex sets and inequalities.
To his surprise, the auditorium is crammed when his talk begins. After he has finished, someone in the audience raises his hand.
"But you said nothing about the actual topic of your talk!"
"What topic to you mean?"
"Well, the one that was announced in the paper: Convicts, sex, and inequality."

There aren't too many TV shows that dare to tackle the topic of The Mother-In-Law. So, here are a few suggestions for new story lines for some of the current hit TV shows.
1. Oprah: Dr. Phil discusses the phenomenon of "Reverse Claustrophobia" (the uncontrollable desire to lock yourself in a room or closet when your MIL visits.)
2. House of Fashion: Today's topic - This Old Bag
3. Daughters-in-law and Order - Special Victims Unit: Investigators probe horrid offenses committed by MILs that have left the victims devastated, and destroyed lives.
4. Survivor: Stay at home and vote to keep the MILs on the island forever.
5. Home Shopping Club: DIL SURVIVAL KIT - Items for sale include a new lock and key for your front door, duct tape, caller ID boxes, and ear plugs.
6. MIL Family Feud: Most of us have been playing this game since we got engaged. Whenever you say something, your MIL tries to top it.
7. WWF: See the champ in the ring with your MIL. Can more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Topic!
Topic who?
Topic a wildflower isn't allowed!

Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents,
each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants each.

Topic 1 - How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays.
Step By Step, With Slide Presentation.

Topic 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll: Do They Grow On The Holders?
Round Table Discussion.

Topic 3 - Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat Up And Avoiding The Floor/Walls And Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.

Topic 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper And The
Floor.
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Topic 5 - The After-Dinner Dishes and Silverware: Can They Levitate And Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Topic 6 - Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote To Your Significant Other.
Helpline Support and Support Groups.

Topic 7 - Learning How To Find Things, Starting With Looking In The Right Place Instead Of Turning The more...

I was minding my own buisness just posting messages on Neopets until I saw this one topic that sounded pretty good to read. So
I clicked the topic and started to read. This is what the retard posted: ewwwww. you people are fat and disgusting from playing on neopets. you should be skinny and a cheerleader like me
I got mad and posted: well if your skiny and a cheerleader then why are you playin neopets? you said people who play neopets are fat and disgusting. After that she never posted again
lol stuid idiotic blonde