Tractor Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?
Turns over a new leaf!
2. What is the definition of a caterpillar?
A worm in a fur coat!
3. What has stripes and pulls a tractor?
A caterpillar tractor!
4. What does a cat go to sleep on?
A caterpillow!
5. What`s green and dangerous?
A caterpillar with a machine gun!
6. What pillar doesn`t need holding up?
A caterpillar!
A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field about 5-6 miles from his farm. To get there he must drive his tractor, and his dog old Joe trots along beside him. Halfway through the plowing, the tractor runs out of fuel.
He wanders out to the road and flags down a ride, which just happens to be a Ferrari.
The driver says, "You can have a ride, but that dog can't get in my car."
The farmer says, "Don't worry. Old Joe will keep up."
The driver figures he'll show the farmer just what his car can do and lets it rip. Just as he is going into 5th gear, he looks out the window and sure enough Old Joe is right beside him. He can't wait to have a look at the amazing dog, so he slams on the brakes, and the car stops rather abruptly.
The driver jumps out exclaiming, "He's the most incredible dog I've ever seen! But what kind of collar is that he's wearing?"
The farmer shook his head and said, "That's not a collar. That's his asshole. more...
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Dakota.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own!"
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Dakota. We settle small disagreements like this with the "Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, more...
A boy was turning four, and his dad said he'd give him whatever he wanted for his birthday.
The boy replied,' Can I have a tractor this year?"
His dad said' Yes, of course.'
That year the boy got what he wanted.
The next year, his dad went to him and asked him what he wanted for his birthday this year. He said "Can I have a bigger tractor than last year?"
The dad kindly said yes.
Three years had passed and it was the boys birthday again and his dad asked him what he would like this year, again the boy asked for a tractor.
He got the same present each year. Eventually the boy became 18, his dad walked to him and asked what he would like for his birthday. The boy replied "Can I have a walkman?"
The dad was surprised and agreed.
The boy got his present and was walking down the road, when he smelt smoke. As he walked further, the smoke became thicker and thicker. When he got further he found a building was on more...
yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck.
The farmer goes to town one day and happens to run into his old pal the tractor salesman. "How's business?" asks the farmer. "Not very good, I haven't sold a tractor in months, How are things on the farm?" asked the salesman. "Well-- The other day I went out to the barn to milk that old cow I have. I started milking and she swatted me with her tail, so I tied her tail to the ceiling. I started milking again and she kicked me with her left leg so I tied that to the left side of the stall. I started milking again and she kicked me with her right leg so I tied that one to the right side of the stall. About that time my wife walked in the barn, and if you can convince her that I was just trying to milk that damn cow, I'll buy a tractor from you!!"