Traveler Jokes

There was a hotel that was widely known for having room service that could provide anything a person could want. A traveler there checked in and immediatly called room service.
He said " I want brought to my room, a young virgin between the ages of eighteen and nineteen with blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want four peices of rope, exactly four feet in length, and a whip. Lastly, I want a Hungarian valet, thirty years old, with a dark complexion. Hurry, because I'm tired and want to relax." About an hour later, room service called back, "Sir, We are very sorry, we have the rope and the whip. The virgin was harder to find because around here, few girls reach that age with virginity intact. We have however, found one of the rare ones and she is somewhat blonde. We are extremely sorry to tell you though, that while we could not find a Hungarian valet as you requested, we have found a Romanian one. Will that do?"
The traveler sighed. "I'm afraid not. So more...

Stumbling through the desert, a traveler was desperate for water when he suddenly saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he continued on toward the image, only to find a little old peddler sitting at a small table with a bunch of neckties laid out.
"Please, may I have some water?" pleaded the parched traveler. "I'm dying of thirst."
"Sorry, I have no water. Care to buy a tie?" asked the peddler. "This one looks like it would go very well with your clothes."
"I don't want a tie, you idiot. I'm desperate for water," shrieked the traveler.
"Fine, don't buy a tie. Just to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that about 5 miles over that hill there, you'll find a restaurant. Go there and they'll give you all the water you want," the peddler said.
The traveler thanked the peddler and walked toward the hill, eventually disappearing out of sight. A few hours later, he more...

"Pardon me," said a transatlantic traveler to his neighbor, "but I couldn't help noticing the diamond you're wearing on your finger."

"Thank you, replied the expensively dressed young woman next to him. "It's the Culbertson Diamond. you may have heard of it - it comes with a curse."

"What curse?" the traveler asked.

The woman sighed. "Mr. Cultertson."

A traveler became lost in the Sahara desert. Realizing his only chance for survival was to find civilization, he began walking. Time passed, and he became thirsty. More time passed, and he began feeling faint. He was on the verge of passing out when he spied a tent about 500 meters in front of him. Barely conscious, he reached the tent and called out, "Water...". A bedouin appeared in the tent door and replied sympathetically, "I am sorry, sir, but I have no water. However, would you like to buy a tie?" With this, he brandished a collection of exquisite silken neckwear. "You fool," gasped the man. "I'm dying! I need water!" "Well, sir," replied the bedouin, "If you really need water, there is a tent about two kilometers south of here where you can get some." Without knowing how, the man summoned sufficient strength to drag his parched body the distance to the second tent. With his last ounce of strength he tugged at the door more...

An traveler decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10, 000 per call".
The traveler, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10, 000 you could talk to God.
The traveler thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in china and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10, 000 he could talk to God. "O. K., thank you," said the traveler.
He then traveled to Pakistan, Srilanka, Russia, more...