Trek Jokes / Recent Jokes

Prince Charles admitted to been a Star Trek fan. My thought: Isn't that unusual that a 50 year old man with no job living with his mother is a fan.

Saying "Make it so" in casual conversation. Indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium. Ability to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first. More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer. Have figured out the stardate system. Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra. Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol. The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams. Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and "The Omega Glory." Memorization of the crew's authorization codes. Forgetting that present-day elevators don't have voice interface. Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments. Actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint. Understanding Klingon. Lecturing a science professor on how transporters work. Playing fizzbin and understanding it. "The Outrageous Okona" seems like a fine piece more...

Saying "Make it so" in casual conversation.
Indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium.
Ability to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first.
More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer.
Have figured out the stardate system.
Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra.
Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol.
The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams.
Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and "The Omega Glory."
Memorization of the crew's authorization codes.
Forgetting that present-day elevators don't have voice interface.
Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments.
Actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint.
Understanding Klingon.
Lecturing a science professor on how transporters work.
Playing fizzbin and understanding more...

Q: What do the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle around Uranus searching for Klingons!

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation... By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We'll have two days til we arrive But can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so! Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't, We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't, The danger here is far too great! Picard: But surely we must not be late! Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire. Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire! Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be? Who lit the fire? Riker: Not me. Worf: Not me. Picard: Computer, how long til we die? Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye. Data: May I suggest a course to take? We could, I think, quite safely make Extinguishers from tractor beams And stop the fire, more...

I don't know if this has been around the net much but I couldn't stop laughing
as I read it so I am forwarding it to the group. It was in all the Star Trek
newsgroups, and I have no idea who wrote it.
Qapla'
Astrid

Top 10 Signs You've Watched Too Much Star Trek:10) You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7. 9) You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble. 8) You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise. 7) Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information. 6) You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th Century looking for a whale. 5) Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Captain Kirk. 4) You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?" 3) You have no life. 2) You recognize more than 4 references on this list. 1) You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan.