Tunnel Jokes / Recent Jokes

A 55-year old woman is in a coma in the hospital. She isn't doing well at all. Her family is standing by her, waiting for her to pass away. The woman is now seconds from passing away when she sees a light; and a big tunnel. She floates way up high to the other end of the tunnel where she sees God.
"I can't believe I'm dead", the woman sadly says.
"What?!", says God,"Your not dead, you won't die untill your 85."
The woman then floats back down the tunnel. She awakens from her coma with joy and happiness from the family. She thinks, "Well, if I don't die for another 15 years, and I'm in the hospital right now, I can probably do some stuff that I have always wanted to do.
So, the woman gets her hair colored. She lets it grow long; all the way to the ground. She increases her breast sizes. She also had plastic surgery to get all those horrible wrinkles off her face.
A few days later, the woman is ready to leave the hospital. She more...

Two Polish guys were taking their first trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas, which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute!"
There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer, and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out.
"I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes in total!" The Newfie said, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish". Poof! The oceans were full of fish.
The Quebecer was amazed! He said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so nothing will get in!" more...

Two Polish guys were taking their first trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas, which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute!"--------------------- There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer, and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out." I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes in total!" The Newfie said, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish". Poof! The oceans were full of fish. The Quebecer was amazed! He said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so nothing will get in!" more...