Turd Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q&A's about Salami Bin Coward & the Talibuttheads:
Q: Why does Salami Bin Coward carry a Turd in his pocket?
A: It's his photo ID.
Q: What do Salami Bin Coward and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing - "yet".
Q: How do you play Talibutthead bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
Q: What is the Talibuttheads national bird?
A: Duck.
Q: How is Salami Bin Coward like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: What does Salami Bin Coward and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What's the difference between the Talibuttheads and a bucket of crap?
A: The bucket.
Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.
Q: Why don't Salami Bin Coward's people eat turd sandwiches?
A: They hate bread.
Q: Why don't the Talibuttheads have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day?
A: The camels can't handle it.
Q&A's about Salami Bin Coward & the Talibuttheads:Q: Why does Salami Bin Coward carry a Turd in his pocket? A: It's his photo ID.Q: What do Salami Bin Coward and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing - "yet".Q: How do you play Talibutthead bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1...Q: What is the Talibuttheads national bird? A: Duck.Q: How is Salami Bin Coward like Fred Flintstone? A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.Q: What does Salami Bin Coward and General Custer have in common? A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from! Q: What's the difference between the Talibuttheads and a bucket of crap? A: The bucket.Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan? A: Two days.Q: Why don't Salami Bin Coward's people eat turd sandwiches? A: They hate bread.Q: Why don't the Talibuttheads have drivers ed and sex ed classes on the same day? A: The camels can't handle it.
This little boy goes to school to find that he has a substitute teacher. He sits down in his chair and the teacher comes back to him and ask's him what his name is. He replies, "My name's Bart, but my friends call me Fart and that really pisses me off." The teeacher says, "Now young man we don't use that kind of language in this school." Where do you live?" The little boy replies, "I live on 3rd street, but my friends call it turd street and that really pisses me off!" The teacher says, "That's it young man your going to have to go down to the principal's office."
he goes down to the principal's office and the pricipal is waiting for him. She's a pretty lady. She says, "You look like such an innocent child, what could you have done?" He says, "I don't know." She says, "Well, what's your name?" "My names Bart, but my friends call me Fart and that really pisses me off." She said, "That's it more...
Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was - "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99". Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree' n dirty tree' n dirty tree - dat 99." The boss is getting more...
If you wanna be a record breaker...
MOST HORRIBLE DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghan tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm 'very recently attained' bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York.
It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'C*** Pump'.
GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz acheived 18 ft 9 in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4 in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7 mph.
LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a more...
The Ghost Shit-
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
but
there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit-
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but
theres
no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit-
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So yo end
up
putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't
ruin
them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Wet Cheeks Shit-
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt
cheeks
get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
The Liquid Shit-
That's the sort where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of your arse,
splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time
burning
your tender anus.
The Mexican Food Shit-
In a class of it's own.
The Marketing Shit-
A turd which is more...
Q&A's about Salami Bin Coward & the Talibuttheads:
Q: Why does Salami Bin Coward carry a Turd in his pocket?
A: It's his photo ID.
Q: What do Salami Bin Coward and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing - "yet".
Q: How do you play Talibutthead bingo?
A: B-52... F-16... B-1...
Q: What is the Talibuttheads national bird?
A: Duck.
Q: How is Salami Bin Coward like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: What does Salami Bin Coward and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What's the difference between the Talibuttheads and a bucket of crap?
A: The bucket.
Q: What's the five day forecast for Afghanistan?
A: Two days.
Q: Why don't Salami Bin Coward's people eat turd sandwiches?
A: They hate bread.
Q: Why don't the Talibuttheads have drivers more...