Turkey Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," you don't understand. "I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said -' Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken

Turkey has blocked 3,700 web sites for political and moral reasons. This brings the grand total of web sites in Turkey to about -3,698.

Why did the blonde roast a turkey for 5 days? Because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 120 pounds.

A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to baste a turkey. After a stunned moment, he, being a fairly good cook, described the procedure.
Then he asked, "But why would you call the State Police to find out how to baste a turkey?"
There was only a slight hesitation before she replied, "Well, you knew, didn't you?" and hung up.

Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band? A: Because he had his own drumsticks!

One year at Christmas my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister was, mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store and sent her for it. While she was gone, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, unstuffed it, restuffed it with a Cornish game hen, put stuffing back over the top of it, and put it back in the oven.
When it came time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out this little bird.
With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you killed a pregnant bird!!!"
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took my mother two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs.