Turner Jokes / Recent Jokes

So thier was this guy name Sam.
He went into an elivator from the 1st floor.
On the second floor a Big guy name Tedd walked in.
Tedd said to sam 340lb. 6ft 9 inches turn AROUND.
Sam freake out and said WHAT THE FUCK!
Tedd said to Sam "I just ansered what everybody else askes me.
My weight my height and my name Turner Brown.

You will need the following:
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 eggs
2 cups of dried chopped fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
2-1/2 cups flour
1 cup brown sugar
1-1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup chopped nuts
1 cup lemon juice
Bottle of your favorite whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large mixing bowl.
Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Try another cup.
Turn off the mixer. Break eggs and add to the bowl. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt... or something... anything... who cares.
Check the whishkey. Repeat.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain more...

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you OK??" In a very weak voice Mike says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." Mike said, "Oh Thank God!!! I thought you said' Turn Around!'"

Resume of: Shaynana Chiquita Shanekia "Pookie" Jones ADDRESS: 2036 South Side Skreet, Compton, CA 11122 PHONE: Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th OBJECTIVE: To one day forefill my dream of bein'a Soul Train danca and you know just gittin' my life togetha and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist (you know what I mean)Beauty Speciacalist) there is in my hood. SKILLS: I do hurh (hair) and nails in my kitchen and I be using my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff. I be doing braids in any texture or color: synthetic or real human hurh. Black, blonde, brown, dark brown, dark black, gold blonde, dark gold blonde,red, maroon,blue and rainbo colors. EDUCATION: THE "GET YOURS" HOME CORREPONDENCE COURSE, INC. BIG MAMA'S HOUSE OF HAIR N' NAILS N' FRIED CHICKEN N' GREENS (gradmuated with honors for the most extenzions done in a year's time). WORK EXPERIENCE: Big Daddy's Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait more...

Christmas Cookie Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar…Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try
another cup. . just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor…
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers
just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Samp! le! the Cuervo to check for tonsist icity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or more...

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
The small guy faints. The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy,
"What's wrong with you?"
The small guy says, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"
The big dude looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said' Turn around'."

How to make a fruitcake!:
---------------------------------
1 C water
1 C sugar
4 large eggs
2 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Directions:
--------------------
1. Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
2. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
3. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
4. Turn on the electric mixer; beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
5. Add one tsp. sugar and beat again.
6. Be sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
7. Turn off the mixer.
8. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
9. Mix on the turner.
10. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
11. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
12. Next, sift two more...