"Ghetto Resume" joke

Resume of: Shaynana Chiquita Shanekia "Pookie" Jones ADDRESS: 2036 South Side Skreet, Compton, CA 11122 PHONE: Cut off right now but will be back on by the 15th OBJECTIVE: To one day forefill my dream of bein'a Soul Train danca and you know just gittin' my life togetha and stuff. I also hope to one day be the best cosmotologecalist (you know what I mean)Beauty Speciacalist) there is in my hood. SKILLS: I do hurh (hair) and nails in my kitchen and I be using my glitter and weave bonding glue for arts and crafts and stuff. I be doing braids in any texture or color: synthetic or real human hurh. Black, blonde, brown, dark brown, dark black, gold blonde, dark gold blonde,red, maroon,blue and rainbo colors. EDUCATION: THE "GET YOURS" HOME CORREPONDENCE COURSE, INC. BIG MAMA'S HOUSE OF HAIR N' NAILS N' FRIED CHICKEN N' GREENS (gradmuated with honors for the most extenzions done in a year's time). WORK EXPERIENCE: Big Daddy's Motel Motor Lodge Bar & Grill Pool Hall & Bait N' Tackle Shop (January 10, 1998 - January 30, 1998) Reason for leaving: Big Daddy kept hitting on me. My Baby's Daddy Day Care Center Car Wash & Shoe Repair (Nov. 2, 1998 - Nov. 10, 1998) Reason for Leaving: They tri to work a sistuh to death and I got thangs ta do! The Golden Tooth Dental & Jewelry Emporium (Mar. 1, 1998 - Nov. 1, 1998) I loveded this job cause they gaveded me a free tooth every month and now I can spell my baby daddy name but they done up and fired me cause I let one of my homeboys sniff that laughing gas. He just smelt it; he don't do drugs no mo. Kim Fung Toi's Restuarat & Pet Shop (you don't even wanna know). Jimmy's Jheri Curls & Motor Lube (Nov. 6, 1998 - Nov. 7, 1998) Reason for Leaving: (Hospitalized for spine injury when I slipped on an overflow over activator). The Ike Turner Hoe Slap Recovery Center ( Jan 5, 1999- Jan 12, 1999) accommodations; yes, I worked there and was a patient too) Reason for Leaving: Center closed down cause Tina Turner done refused Ike's request to give us a benefit concert and donate the money to Ike. Ike say Tina done got beside hurself since she a big star. He say he remember when she was Anna Mae Bullock from Nut Bush, Tennessee. References: Pookie Terrence johnson (my 1st babies daddy) Tray Oscar Pickens (my 2nd babies daddy) Tommy "Slick Tooth" Griffin (my 9th babies daddy) Lawanda Jenkins (from up the skreet) Hezakiah Clevestus "the playa" Jones (my mama's sister's brother-in-law, uncle half-brother) The Right Reverend Aliza Benjamin Ineedadrank O'Grady (Pastor of The Greater Mt. Carmel Church of God in Christ Kingdom Hall of Our Lady of Saints Holy Rosary Later Day Seventh Advent Saints Episcapaleen Saidified Non-Denominational Baptist Church, Inc. (a not-for-profit agency). Note: All time periods unaccounted for above when I wasn't working are "none of your business but I was not on no welfare cause I done always worked at something nother." Resume by The Professional Resume People, Inc. of South Central

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