Understanding Jokes / Recent Jokes

Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.

Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T.
MEMORANDUM
TO: All Employees
FROM: Communications Services
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other office in town.
If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list for special attention.
All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.
If you think that you have a thorough understanding of the basic S.H.I.T. program, you may wish to participate in Management Of Related Education (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be interested in helping us train more...

My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.

Taught by men, for women. 101
Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV 102
Doing Housework Without Complaining 103
Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge 104
Going to The Washroom Alone
(formerly Coping Without My Friends) 105
Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look OK?" 106
Exercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother 107
Learning How to Initiate Intimacy 108
How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong 109
Understanding the Male Response to "Am I Fat?" 110
Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must 111
The Toilet Seat: I Can Learn to Put It Down Too 112
Using the Thesaurus: Alternatives to "Make Love" 113
"The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous 114
How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him 115
The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle 116
You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone more...

Taught by women, for men. 101
Combating Stupidity 102
You Too Can Do Housework 103
P.M.S. – Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut 104
How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray 105
We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas –
Give Us Money 106
Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk
At 4 AM 107
Wonderful Laundry Techniques
(Formerly "Don't Wash My Silks") 108
Parenting – No, It Doesn't End With Conception 109
Get a Life – Learn How To Cook 110
How Not To Act Like a Butthead When You Are Obviously Wrong 111
Spelling – Even You Can Get It Right 112
Understanding Your Financial Incompetence 113
You – The Weaker Sex 114
Reasons To Give Flowers 115
How To Stay Awake After 116
Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself
Anywhere But the Bathroom 117
Garbage – Getting It To the Curb 118A
You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try 118B
The Morning Dilemma - If It's more...