Techniques Jokes

Seminars for Females (Prepared and presented by Males)
1. Elementary map reading
2. Crying and law enforcement
3. Advanced math seminar: Programming your VCR
4. You can go shopping for less than 4 hours
5. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: A study in contrast.
6. PMS: It's your problem, not mine ("It's happened monthly since puberty-deal with it.")
7. Driving I. Getting past automatic transmissions
8. Driving II. The meaning of blinking orange lights
9. Driving III. Approximating a constant speed
10. Driving IV. Makeup and Driving; it's as simple as oil and water
11. Football: Not a game; a sacrament
12. Telephone Translations (Formerly titled, "Me too" equals "I love you")
13. How to earn your own money
14. Gift giving fundamentals (Formerly titled, "Fabric bad, electronics good")
15. Putting the seat down by yourself: Potential energy is on your side
16. Beyond more...

New College Courses for Men as Prepared by Women: 1... Combating Stupidity2... You, Too, Can Do Housework3... PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut4... How to Fill an Ice Tray5... We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money6... Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4: 00am7... Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks")8... Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception9... Get a Life: Learn to Cook10... How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong11... Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right12... Understanding Your Financial Incompetence13... You: The Weaker Sex14... Reasons to Give Flowers15. How to Stay Awake After Sex16... Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the Bathroom17... Garbage: Getting it to the Curb18... You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try19... The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower20... I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please21... How to Put the more...

1. Combating Stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS - Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
4. How to fill an ice tray
5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas - Give us money
6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4:00am
7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
8. Parenting - No, it doesn't end with conception
9. Get a life - learn to cook
10. How not to act like an jerk when you're obviously wrong 11.
11. Spelling - Even you can get it right
12. Understanding your financial incompetence
13. You - The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to give flowers
15. How to stay awake after sex
16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom
17. Garbage - Getting it to the curb
18. You can fall asleep without "It" if you really try
19. The morning dilemma if "It's" awake. Take a shower
20. I'll wear it if I more...

On Appearance
Excessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris...a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs.
Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male.
T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head.
Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable.
On Dating
If you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to more...

Seminars for Females (Prepared and presented by Males)1. Elementary map reading2. Crying and law enforcement3. Advanced math seminar: Programming your VCR4. You can go shopping for less than 4 hours5. Gaining five pounds vs. the end of the world: A study in contrast.6. PMS: It's your problem, not mine ("It's happened monthly since puberty-deal with it.")7. Driving I. Getting past automatic transmissions8. Driving II. The meaning of blinking orange lights9. Driving III. Approximating a constant speed10. Driving IV. Makeup and Driving; it's as simple as oil and water11. Football: Not a game; a sacrament12. Telephone Translations (Formerly titled, "Me too" equals "I love you")13. How to earn your own money14. Gift giving fundamentals (Formerly titled, "Fabric bad, electronics good")15. Putting the seat down by yourself: Potential energy is on your side16. Beyond "Clean and Dirty" - The nuances of wearable laundry17. Yes, you can fill up more...