Understanding Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Combating Stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS - Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
4. How to fill an ice tray
5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas - Give us money
6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4:00am
7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
8. Parenting - No, it doesn't end with conception
9. Get a life - learn to cook
10. How not to act like an jerk when you're obviously wrong 11.
11. Spelling - Even you can get it right
12. Understanding your financial incompetence
13. You - The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to give flowers
15. How to stay awake after sex
16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom
17. Garbage - Getting it to the curb
18. You can fall asleep without "It" if you really try
19. The morning dilemma if "It's" awake. Take a shower
20. I'll wear it if I more...

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You Too Can Do Housework

3. Resistance to Beer

4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)

6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4: 00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don`t Wash My Silks")

9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook

10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You, The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons To Give Flowers

15. Garbage - Getting It To The more...

Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T.MEMORANDUMTO: All EmployeesFROM: Communications ServicesSUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAININGIn order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained though our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other office in town.If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list for special attention.All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed.If you think that you have a thorough understanding of the basic S.H.I.T. program, you may wish to participate in Management Of Related Education (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be interested in helping us train others. We can add you to our Basic more...

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.

1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You Too Can Do Housework

3. Resistance to Beer

4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)

6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4: 00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don't Wash My Silks")

9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook

10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You, The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons To Give more...

A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's overfull! No more will go in!" the professor blurted. "You are like this cup," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup."

People's reactions to this story:
"You cannot learn anything if you already feel that you know."
"Preconceived ideas and prejudices always prevent us from seeing the truth."
"You should open your mind before you open your mouth."
"The master is trying to tell him to ease back and relax. The professor is too anxious about the whole thing."
"Some people want to be taught everything in one sitting. It's not possible."
"This more...

Saying "Make it so" in casual conversation. Indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium. Ability to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first. More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer. Have figured out the stardate system. Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra. Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol. The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams. Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and "The Omega Glory." Memorization of the crew's authorization codes. Forgetting that present-day elevators don't have voice interface. Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments. Actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint. Understanding Klingon. Lecturing a science professor on how transporters work. Playing fizzbin and understanding it. "The Outrageous Okona" seems like a fine piece more...

Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required. 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do Housework 3. Resistance to Beer 4. How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards) 6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4: 00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called "Don't Wash My Silks") 9. Get A Life - Learn To Cook 10. How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong 11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right 12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence 13. You, The Weaker Sex 14. Reasons To Give Flowers 15. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb 16. You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please 17. How To Put Down A Toilet Seat 18. Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies 19. How To Go Shopping With more...