Urinal Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man gets off a plane in Boston and heads immediately for the Men's Room. It's crowded but he finds a vacant urinal to gain relief after the long flight and many drinks.
The man at the urinal next to his says, "You're Jewish?"
"Yes."
"You come from Sudbury?"
"Yes."
"Your parents went to Temple Immanuel?"
"Yes, I don't think I know you. How do you know so much about me?"
The man next to him replies, "Rabbi Minski of Temple Immanuel is the only Rabbi I know that performs circumcisions by cutting at an angle and you're peeing in my shoe!"

A man gets off a plane in Boston and heads immediately for the Men's Room. It's crowded but he finds a vacant urinal to gain relief after the long flight and many drinks.
The man at the urinal next to his says, "You're Jewish?"
"Yes."
"You come from Sudbury?"
"Yes."
"Your parents went to Temple Immanuel?"
"Yes, I don't think I know you. How do you know so much about me?"
The man next to him replies, "Rabbi Minski of Temple Immanuel is the only Rabbi I know that performs circumcisions by cutting at an angle and you're peeing in my shoe!"

1. EXCITABLE TYPE: Pants are twisted, can't find fly, rips pants in anger.
2. SOCIAL TYPE: Joins pals for a piss whether he wants to or not.
3. TIMID TYPE: Cannot piss if anyone is watching, in later.
4. NOISY TYPE: Whistles loudly while pissing, peeps over partition to take a look at other fellows'.
5. INDIFFERENT TYPE: All urinals occupied, pisses in the sink.
6. CLEVER TYPE: Pisses without holding tool in the hand, shows off by adjusting tie.
7. VAIN TYPE: Undoes five buttons to take out his tool when only two would do.
8. INTELLECTUAL TYPE: Opens vest, takes out tie and pisses in his pants.
9. ABSENT MINDED TYPE: Not quite sure what he has been upto lately, makes a furtive examination of his tool while pissing.
10. DISGUSTED TYPE: Stands for a while, farts, tries to piss but fails, farts again and stalks away muttering.
11. SNEAKY TYPE: Drops a silent fart while pissing, sniffs air and looks on the bloke on the left and more...

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army. His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis... He agrees, and does so. When his penis isn't erect you can see the letters W and Y. The woman feeling secure knowing that her name is tattooed on her man's penis says good-bye to her fiance and he leaves for Jamaica. One day, while in Jamaica, the guy is at the urinal and a black Jamaican comes and stands at the urinal next to him... The white guy happens to notice that the Jamaican also has a tattoo on his penis and he could see the letters W and Y, so he says to the Jamaican, "Wow, that's really interesting, I guess you have a girlfriend named Wendy too?" And the Jamaican looks at him with a puzzled look and then stretches out his penis and it says..."Welcome to Jamaica have a nice day!"

Ok guys, own up...which one are you?
Excitable Type Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.
Sociable Type Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.
Timid Type Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later.
Nosy Type Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's thingy.
Indifferent Type All urinals being occupied, uses sink.
Clever Type Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time, pees on foot.
Vain Type Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.
Absent-Minded Type Opens jacket, takes out tie, pees in pants.
Worried Type Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of tool while peeing.
Disgruntled Type Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts again and walks out muttering.
Conceited Type Holds 2-inch tool like a baseball bat while peeing.
Sneaky Type Drops silent farts while peeing and looks more...

Ok guys, own up...which one are you? Excitable Type Pants are twisted, cannot find hole, rips pants in anger.Sociable Type Joins pals for a pee whether he wants one or not.Timid Type Cannot pee if anyone is watching, pretends he has been and sneaks back later.Nosy Type Peeps over partition to have a look at the other fellow's thingy.Indifferent Type All urinals being occupied, uses sink.Clever Type Pees without holding tool, shows off by adjusting tie at the same time, pees on foot.Vain Type Undoes 5 buttons when 2 will do.Absent-Minded Type Opens jacket, takes out tie, pees in pants.Worried Type Is not quite sure what he has been up to lately, makes a furtive but close inspection of tool while peeing.Disgruntled Type Stands for a while, grunts, farts, tries to pee, fails, farts again and walks out muttering.Conceited Type Holds 2-inch tool like a baseball bat while peeing.Sneaky Type Drops silent farts while peeing and looks at the guy next to him.Sloppy Type Pees on shoe, walks out more...

Everything in this bar is golden!!!
Golden carpets, golden shotglasses, golden beermats...
After one too many drinks he stumbles into what he thinks is the toilet and theres even a golden urinal!!
The man goes home and tells his wife about this place and she isnt convinced, so in the morning she fones the bar and says, "Is every thing in your bar golden..? Golden carpets, golden shotglasses, golden beermats???"
"Yes" ansers the bartender..
"What about a golden urinal???"
"Hold on" says the bartender....
"Eddie.. I think we found the guy who leaked in your saxafone!!!".