Urinals Jokes

A man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman."No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!"She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar."Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?"To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, - I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone!"

A man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman.
"No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!"
She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar.
"Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?"
To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, - I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone!"

21 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM! EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor.WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug.ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed.PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand.DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry more...

21 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM! EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed. TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants. CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble. SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed. PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand. DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants. TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of more...

One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife (who is suspecting
he's cheating on her) questions his whereabouts...
Wife: "Where were you??"
Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden"
Wife: "Sure you were. There's no such place!"
Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even
golden urinals!"
Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%"
So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar.
She's surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides
to call up and check this out for herself...
Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"
Bartender: "Yes it is.."
Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors?"
Bartender: "Yes we do..."
Wife: "Do you have golden floors??"
Bartender: "We have them, too..."
Wife: "What about golden more...