Urinals Jokes / Recent Jokes
21 TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM! EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. SOCIABLE: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. CROSSEYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed. TIMID: Can't piss if someone's watching, flushes urinal, comes back later. INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, pisses in sink. CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and usually pisses on floor. WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection. FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinals, tries to hit fly or bug. ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants. CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble. SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed. PATIENT: Stands very close for a long while waiting, reads with free hand. DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants. TOUGH: Bangs dick on side of more...
Men should ace this test. .. women may have a little difficulty. There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed. =============================================== The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above the number will indicate "in use." (Sample): | | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.) ------------------------- You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck! -------------------- Easy Section -------------------- 1.) | | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ------------------------- Your choice: ___ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this. =============================================== 2.) | x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.) | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | more...
Two of the most common indications of nervousness are trembling hands and a need to urinate. It's hardly surprising, then, that the floors of men's airport toilets are soaked with piss: most of the gents who use the facilities are at least a little concerned at the prospect of their upcoming flight.
Until recently, the lavatories at Amsterdam's Schiphol airport were no exception, as nervous flyers emptied their bladders everywhere except in the urinals. However after a debate among airport staff, Schiphol hit upon a possible solution.
The cleaners began painting flies on the inside of urinals, the theory being that men would always aim for the little' fellas' (flies) in an attempt to piss them down the drain. And it seems to have worked. With 700 fake flies now resident in the airport's conveniences, the level of splashing has been reduced by 80%, and the toilet manufacturers are now producing a line of' bogs' (toilets) complete with pre-painted more...
Ever since man crawled out of the primordial ooze, he has built himself structures to contain the processes of bodily waste removal. These have been known as "restrooms," "bathrooms," "outhouses," "commodes," "men's rooms," and several other names.As with any exclusive organization, wholly half the human race aren't allowed through the door, and a number of exceedingly complicated customs have arisen to maintain a sense of order and dignity.General rules:1. Don't talk to somebody you don't know. You may chat quietly with an acquaintance, but must absolutely not call attention to yourself.2. A quick glance in the mirror is permissible, but absolutely don't spend a significant time arranging hair, clothing, etc. Zit popping is only permissible after checking to see nobody else is around.3. No profanity of any kind. This is reserved for locker rooms, only.4. If you must wait, form a single-file line, ragged, and be sure to keep looking more...
Once our Santa ended up getting drunk at this place called the Golden Cafe.
Well, he comes home and tells his wife, Jeeto, 'You wouldn't believe it there! The floor is gold, the ceiling's gold, the chandelier is gold, even the urinals are gold!'
Jeeto can't believe this so she calls the place up and asked to speak with the manager. She said, 'Is it true that your floor is gold?'
The guy says, 'Yes.'
The wife continues down the list. 'Is it true that even your urinals are gold?'
The manager turns around to another guy and says, 'Hey, I think we found the guy who messed up your saxophone last night.'
Men should ace this test. .. women may have a little difficulty.
Mohan might have some trouble with this one.....
There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An X above the number will indicate "in use."
(Sample)
| | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
-------------------------
You are to identify, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you
should stand.
Good luck!
===================
Easy Section
===================
1.)
| | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------
Your choice: ___
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy
instinctively knows this.
2.)
| more...
A man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman." No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD!"She said she didn't believe him, so she called the bar." Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?" To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, - I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone!"