Video Jokes / Recent Jokes
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of
his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video
of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down
together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional,
the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them
laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor
cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and
his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.
The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the
screen!"
The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much
fun!"
A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of
his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video
of his wife's activities.A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down
together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional,
the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them
laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor
cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and
his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee."I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the
screen!"The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much
fun!"
This is an item from this mornings paper.
When a video jammed in his VCR, Jessop Smith went to a Wilton Manors electronics store for help. When fixing his VCR, the workers there saw what was in the jammed tape and reported it to the police.
Police brought in a pediatrician who "certified the female children in the video to be under 18 years of age".
Next day cops posing as store clerks greeted Jessop and followed him to his home at 1232 NE 26th St., where a child porno was playing on a big screen TV.
Now Mr. Smith is in jam instead of his VCR.
Titanic vs. Slick Willy's Deposition Video
From the Philadelphia Daily News, September 28, 1998
TITANIC CLINTON VIDEO
=============================================================
$9.99 on Internet Same
Over 3 hours long Same
The Story of Jack and Rose, The Story of Bill and Monica,
their forbidden love, and their forbidden love, and
a subsequent catastrophe a subsequent catastrophe
Their Song: Celine Dion Their Song: Sarah
''My Heart Will Go On'' Maclaughlin' 'No. 5''
Villain: White Star Line Villain: Ken Starr
Jack is a starving Artist Bill is a BS artist
In one part, Jack enjoys Ditto for Bill.
a Good Cigar.
During the ordeal, Rose's Ditto for
dress gets ruined Monica's
Jack Teaches Rose to Spit Let's not EVEN go there!
Rose gets to keep her jewelry Monica forced to return gifts
Behind the scenes: Behind the more...
Blow job etiquette (by a woman)
1 - First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2 - Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.
3 - I don't care what they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4 - Extension to rule #3- No, I don't have to swallow.
My ears are not handles.
5 - Extension to rule #5- Do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?
6 - I don't care how relaxed you get, it is never ok to fart.
7 - Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" -get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just you can't have sex right now.
8 - Extension to #8- "blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if you are that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my midol.
9 - If I have to pause to more...
Blowjob Etiquette For Men, From Women:
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I more...
A woman in Baton Rouge, Louisiana is suing Nintendo for "unspecified damages"
after her thirty year old son died during a marathon session on his N64.
Apparently the unfortunate man died after hitting his head on a table during a
seizure while playing with the console. While this was obviously a tragic loss
for the family involved, it's hard to feel much sympathy for them once you start
to read the details of the accident.
According to the report from the Associated Press, the man first started
suffering seizures after buying his N64 in 1999, but ignoring this inconvenience
he carried on playing on the console for anything up to eight hours a day, six
days a week.
This despite the now standard epilepsy warning that comes with every Nintendo
game, informing players that "some people may have seizures or black outs
triggered by light flashes, such as while playing video games, even if they have
never had a seizure more...