Video Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in! !
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off! !
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand! !
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy! !
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!
Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!
Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests more...

Why should you never watch a video with a Chihuahua? It always plays with the "paws" button on the VCR.

Some interesting similarities between the Titanic video and the Clinton Grand Jury testimony video:-
Titanic Video: $9.99 on internet
Clinton Video: $9.99 on internet
Titanic Video: Over three hours long
Clinton Video: Over three hours long
Titanic Video: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton Video: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic Video: Villain: White Star Line
Clinton Video: Villain: Ken Starr
Titanic Video: Jack is a starving artist
Clinton Video: Bill is a B.S. artist
Titanic Video: Jack enjoys a good cigar in one part.
Clinton Video: Ditto for Bill
Titanic Video: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined
Clinton Video: Ditto for Monica
Titanic Video: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton Video: Let's not go there
Titanic Video: Rose gets to keep her jewelry
Clinton Video: Monica is forced to return her more...

David Letterman presented an hour-by-hour account of a day in the life of Osama bin Laden:7:00 am: "He wakes up and asks his assistant,' Am I still alive?'" 8:00 am: "Has a nutritious breakfast of sand and dirt." 10:30 am: "He takes his camel in for a tune-up at Mazar-e-Sharif Amoco." 11:30 am: "Has trouble opening a jar of peanut butter; declares jihad against Skippy." 1:00 pm: "Tae-Bo." 1:30 pm: "Records a video demanding America surrender or else he'll make another video demanding America surrender." 2:30 pm: "He's a celebrity judge at a wet burqa contest." 3:00 pm: "Picks Mullah Omar's name in this year's Secret Santa drawing." 4:00 pm: "Turns on CNN to closely study the moves of his opponents. Gets bored, switches to Oprah." 5:00 pm: "Gets scolded for not taking out the trash by wives 3, 8, and 16." 9:00 pm: "Plots strategy for upcoming week: cower underground like a spooked more...

When watching the Clinton video, did you get the feeling of "deja vu" - of
watching something that you had just seen in a similar structure?
Well your brain never fails. By reading below, you will see the remarkable
similarities between the Clinton Video and the Titanic Video. Was this just by
coincidence... or much more.
You be the judge.
Titanic vs. Clinton: Incredible Similarities
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: more...

The struggling Iraqi government was embarrassed at the leaking of a video of Saddam's execution, showing the former dictator's being taunted by Shiite witnesses, guards, and executioners. Prime Minster Nouri al-Maliki attempted to deflect attention from the leak by pointing out that there are many more interesting things to look at on Youtube, including Britney Spears' vagina, and a video of a small dog shitting on Kurdistan.





In related news, witnesses to Monday's executions of Saddam's accomplices all signed pledges promising "no taunting," and indeed, the hangings took place in silence. Witnesses also pledges not to push Sunnis off of playground swings, or perform a move loosely translated as "the wedgie of genocide."

You know you're a video game freak if...
You hire a babysitter to watch your video games.
When you go swimming you put your nintendo D.S. in the glove box so no one will try to commit a felony and try to steal it.
You cry when your data gets deleted.
When you lose a disc you blame everyone you can so you can be in denial.
You have every system since the pong game.
You know who and when created all of your games.
You are eaisly entertained when you hear that the nintendo stock market raises.
You talk to your friends for two hours discussing which is better: Age of mythology or Age of Empires, only to come to the conclusion that you're eating pizza tonight to discuss it deeper.
When you get on to someone elses computer you refer to yourself as a "hacker."
You pray that to God that there's no power outage in the next 3 days because you have to do some "light" gaming.