Village Jokes / Recent Jokes

A western reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about that land. He meets an old man in a village and asks him about any memorable events in his life. The old man says "well one time my donkey got lost, so me and my neighbors got some vodka and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the donkey. Then we drank the vodka and one by one started screwing the donkey, it was a lot of fun." The reporter figured he can't write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story. The old man said: "well, one time my neighbor's wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some vodka and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the vodka and one by one screwed the neighbor's wife. It was a lot of fun." The reporter, feeling frustrated, told the old man that he couldn't write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any dramatic or sad memories that he could talk about. more...

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. You may not fart in a public place after 6 P. M. on Thursdays. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. It is illegal to skateboard without a license. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail. It is against the city ordinance to hang your more...

Two brothers inherit their uncle`s land after his death. They are excited and try to think of what to grow.
After a long argument they finally decide that they are going to grow sugarcanes.
Yonger Brother: Brother. If we grow sugarcanes, the village people will steal them.
Older Brother: Thats true.
..... 2. Hours. Later.....
The two brothers set fire to the village.
The village people run and scream.
Younger Brother: Hon chupo gana!

Two Punjabi peasants got into an argument over which is more important to the world, the sun or the moon. They put the problem to their village panchayat. The elders deliberated over the question for many hours before the sarpanch (village head man) pronounced in favour of the moon in sound Punjabi logic:
'If there was no moon, we would not be able to see anything at night. The sun shines only during the day when we need no light.'

An American couple visiting in a German village stepped into a small shop to look for souvenirs. The woman sneezed.
"Gesundheit" said the clerk.
"Charles," said the American woman to her husband, "we're in luck. There's somebody here who speaks English."

Once upon a time, there lived a poor cap seller in a small village (in India): -) He earned his livelihood stiching caps and selling them in the neighboring villages. Once when going to another village through a forest, he fell asleep under a tree. When he woke up, he was surprised to find his basket empty and all the caps missing. Then he noticed a troop of monkeys sitting in the tree wearing his caps. He came up with a brilliant idea to retrieve his caps. He lifted the cap on his head and threw it to the ground. Out of their apeing habits the monkeys followed suit. The cap seller, then collected all the caps and triumphantly proceeded to the market.
As the years pass by, the cap seller has a grandson who too ends up being a cap seller. One day he has to pass through the same forest to sell caps in the village on the other side. As he is leaving, his grandpa tells him of the monkeys and how he outsmarted them and warns the grandson to be careful in the forest and remember his more...

It was in the mid of the seventh century. Before going on a cruisade the Count put on a special kind of moral-belt on his wife. It had a built-in guillotine that automatically would neutralize anything wanting to get into "the noble part" of her.
Three years later, he returned to his grounds. As he first spotted the people there, he noticed that something had happened while he had been away on the seas. He suspected, but didn't like the thought, that something dealing with his wife had occured.
So, he called all men of the village and told them to line up at the main square, where he ordered them to take off their pants. Horrified, he saw that the guillotine of his had been exceptionally efficient. There wasn't any man left in the village that could do "a man's work".
But - there was one small guy, beside them all, that seemed to be all fine. The Count, surpressing his disappointment, approached him and said in a sad voice: "So, you were the only more...