Viola Jokes / Recent Jokes
How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune? The bow is moving.
How was the canon invented? Two violists were trying to play the same passage together.
Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first? A: Who cares!
Q: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison. Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One. Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure. Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola? A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes. Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please. Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers. Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola? A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet. Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator. Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: A semi-tone. Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so more...
Why is a viola solo like a bomb? By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.
Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato? A: Write a whole note with "solo" above it.
Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars? So they can park in "handicapped" parking places. orIf someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.