Violin Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin? No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.

A little monster was learning to play the violin. "i'm good, aren't i?" he asked his big brother.
"you should be on the radio," said the brother.
"you think i'm that good?"
"no, i think you're terrible, but at least if you were on the radio, i could switch you off."

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

I’d tell you another joke about a pencil.
But it doesn’t have any point!

Why do idiots eat biscuits?
Because they’re crackers!

What was the gangsters last words?
Who put that violin in my violin case!

Did you hear about the little boy that they named after his father?
They called him dad!

What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir!

Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot?
He flew 57 missions!

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Sit in the back and don't play.

The gangster's last words – "Who put that violin in my violin case?"

What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.