Virtual Jokes / Recent Jokes
For years I badgered my mother with questions about whether Santa
Claus is a real person or not. Her answer was always "Well, you asked
for the presents and they came, didn't they?" I finally understood the
full meaning of her reply when I heard the definition of a virtual
device: "A software or hardware entity which responds to commands in a
manner indistinguishable from the real device." Mother was telling me
that Santa Claus is a virtual person (simulated by loving parents) who
responds to requests from children in a manner indistinguishable from the
real saint.
Mother also taught the IF... THEN... ELSE structure: "If it's
snowing, then put your boots on before you go to school; otherwise just
wear your shoes."
Mother explained the difference between batch and transaction processing:
"We'll wash the white clothes when we get enough of them to make a load, but
we'll wash these socks out right more...
Virtual breasts
First there were email smilies and now there are email breasts
For those men out there - Feast your eyes upon these beauties.
For those women out there - be thankful you dont suffer from grandma breasts!!!
(o)(o) perfect breasts
( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts
(*)(*) high nipple breasts
(@)(@) big nipple breasts
oo a cups
{ O }{ O } d cups
(oYo) wonder bra breasts
( ^ )( ^ ) cold breasts
(o)(O) lopsided breasts
Q.Q. pierced breasts
(p)(p) hanging tassels breasts
(:o)(o) bitten by a vampire breasts
o/ o/ grandma's breasts
( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts
< o >< o > electric shock breasts
|o||o| android breasts
(%)(o) extra nipple breasts
($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts
=~= =~= Mammogram breasts
)= )= I have to stop opening the freezer naked breasts...
My wife gave me a lesson the other night on User Interface Problems, that really
points up some of the differences between the sexes. We were watching CNN's
Technology program they have on weekends, when a segment on Virtual Reality came
on. Looking at the all the wires and gadgets, she turned to me and said that
Virtual Reality would never catch on with women. I was puzzled by this, until
she explained, "Every womens first thought on seeing that helmet will be,' I
can't wear that. It will mess up my hair!'"
A Japanese gamer known as Sal9000 recently legally married Nene Anegasaki, a virtual video game character from the Nintendo DS dating simulator "Love Plus".
When asked why he chose to legally marry a video game character, he replied "receiving a virus from her is much more "penis friendly" than with your ordinary woman."