Waiters Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies? Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup?.

I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water and tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters and busboys had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?"

"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some Andersen Consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil, at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time... nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift." Just as he concluded, a more...

Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain Waiter, theres a Gorilla in my soup!

Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye

So Gorbachev decided that now that he was on top, it was time
to impress his ancient mother. He sent his private helicopter out to
the small town where she lived to pick her up. He met her with a
fleet of limos in Red Square.
So, mama. It's good to see you here in Moscow! Come, we eat!
She said nothing about the flight, and followed quietly into his
limo. He took her to the best restaurant in town, where they were served
by an army of waiters. The food was superb, the wine the best money
could buy. She said nothing.
You like the dinner? Come. We fly to my Dacha for drinks.
The chopper picked them up and delivered them to the steps of a
magnificent building, secluded in the outskirts of the city. Waiters
in white coats were waiting, and proceeded to serve them with the
best Cognac and liquor available.
They sat sipping on the porch, looking out over the view.
So, mama. You don't say anything. Aren't you proud of more...

Now, what I did to a guy I didn't like one night is a classic:
I saw him at a restaurant with his "other woman" seated in the corner
of the restaurant trying to be inconspicuous. I went to the head
waiter and told him I wanted to send a cake over to my friend's table
since he and his "wife" were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary.
If you've ever been to a place like Bennigans where the waiters and
waitresses come singing and banging pots when they deliver a cake to
your table, you can imagine what happened next.
Four waiters and three waitresses carrying a cake with a sparkler
marched over to their table singing "Happy Anniversary, Carole and
Mark...Happy...Happy...Happy Anniversary."
Talk about someone looking for the exits!

Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies? Did you ever hear a customer complain' Waiter, there's a Gorilla in my soup!'