Waiters Jokes / Recent Jokes

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I
noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware. He too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses,
busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had
to ask, "Why the spoons?"
"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of
statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons
per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time. . . nearly 1. 5 extra man-hours per shift." more...

Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING......... By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz
Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself,' Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' more...

Q: How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, even a burned out bulb cant catch a waiters eye

Vacationing in Mexico
A man and his wife are visiting Mexico and go to the local restaurant for dinner. They can't seem to decide on what to have so they spend a lot of time looking over the menu.
While they are looking, they hear a trumpet fanfare, and out of the kitchen comes the cook with a big platter. He is accompanied by two or three waiters. With much ceremony, they place the platter on the next table and uncover it to reveal two rather large rounded pieces of meat surrounded by vegetables and lots of garnish.
The man and wife ask their waiter what that was all about.
The waiter explains that the next table was just served the house specialty: the testicles of the bull from the day's bullfight. The couple orders the same dish. The waiter apologetically explains that there is only one bullfight per day so they can't have that dish tonight. However, they could be the persons of honor tomorrow night. This compromise makes the couple happy.
They return the next more...

A little corporate humor----------------------I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?" "Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some AndersenConsulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and aftermonths of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons dropspoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time... nearly 1. 5 extra more...

Waiter: These are the best eggs we’ve had for years.

Diner: Well, bring me some you haven’t had around for that long.

Waiters short joke 16

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.