Wd-40 Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.2. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.4. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.5. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!"6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her.. . believe them.7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself,' Will this matter one year from
now? How about one month? One week? One day?'8. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.11. Work is good, but more...

Sometimes we need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are.

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the duct tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!"

7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

8. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

9. Never pass up an more...

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are;
- You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the Duct Tape.
- Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
- If you woke up more...

You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. more...