Wide Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "Whats that building there?" "Thats the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie."12 years? We build em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "Whats that building over there?" asked the Texan. "Thats the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How longd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only takes us more...
Wayfroy P. Jackson: 6'6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Alabama in the last ten years. Loves music. Will demand a mini-cassette player. Holds world record for the most "you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfroy can print his complete name. Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6'3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Melrose High School, Charlotte, N.C. Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm. Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6'1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Omaha. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick". Woodrow Lee Washington: 6'8", 310 lbs. Tackle. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children. Mother claims
Woodrow and child more...
An assistant coach for the Dallas Cowboys is suing a local McDonalds restaurant after his wife found a rat in a salad she started eating after they arrived home.
The spokesperson from McDonalds said "Yeah, and?" "This IS McDonalds. We're not Applebee's or anything."
This was the wide receivers coach that was caught on film having a verbal altercation with tumultuous wide receiver Terrell Owens. When Owens was asked his comment on the rat/salad incident he replied:
"McDonalds, I'm lovin' it."
Later on in the same match a lot of wides were being bowled, but it was obvious that the umpire didn't know that anything was wrong.
After a particularly wide delivery, the exasperated batsman said,' Surely that was a wide!'
The umpire nodded sagely.' Arr,' he said,' I don t think I ever saw one wider!'
Recently, President Clinton and Boris Yeltsin had a conference on
the spread of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases in
their countries. Yeltsin asked Clinton how he and his
administration are attempting to stop the spread of AIDS.
"We promote abstinence in the United States," Clinton told him.
"That would never work in the USSR," Yeltsin replied. "People are
going to have sex, and the government can`t do or say anything
to stop that. I want to promote the use of condoms in my
country. The problem is, we don`t have any good condom companies
in Russia."
"Well, in the US we have many condom companies, and one of the
best is Trojan," Clinton told him. "Let me give the president of
the company a call. I`ll ask him to send some condoms to you, so
you can distribute them in your country. How many do you want?"
"We`d probably need about 5 million or so to more...
Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let's look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top. Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green.
Lemma 2. The crocodile is greener than it is wide: Let's look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but it is wide only along its width. Therefore, the crocodile is greener than it is wide.
From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie. "12 years? We build' em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build' em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only more...