"A family of tortoises went into a " joke
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think its going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Fathers umbrella, but three days later he still hadnt returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat juniors ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I wont go."
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
A Little Boy Wasn't Getting Good Marks In School. One Day He Tapped His Teacher On The Shoulder And Said, "I Don't Want To Scare You, But My Daddy Says If I Don't Get Better Grades, Somebody Is Going To Get A Spanking."
These three guys - an American, Chinese, and German - were
shipwrecked on a desert island. The German found this smokey bottle.
So he brought it back to the other two and they all opened it togther
(the German was a really nice guy). Well, low and behold, a more...
Our secretary heard this during a talent show at a retirement village.
A retirement village decided to hold a Singles Dance, at which this
very sweet 90-year-old gentleman met a very sweet 90-year-old lady,
and they danced and talked and laughed, and just hit it off more...
An old farmer is having trouble getting his bull to breed with the cows and is lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the local beer hall. One of them says, "Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with my bull, but I got it fixed really
quick." more...