"An Inmate At The Insane Asylum" joke
An inmate at the insane asylum was being examined for possible release. The first question the examining doctor asked was: "What are you going to do when you leave this institution?"
"I'm gonna get me a sling shot," said the patient, "and I'm gonna come back here and break every goddam window in the place!"
After six more months of treatment, the patient was again brought before the examining doctor for possible dismissal, and the same question was put to him.
"Well, I'm going to get a job," the patient replied.
"Fine," said the doctor. "Then what?"
"I'm going to rent an apartment."
"Very good."
"Then I'm going to meet a beautiful girl."
"Excellent."
"I'm going to take the beautiful girl up to my apartment and I'm going to pull up her skirt."
"Normal, perfectly normal."
"Then I'm gonna steal her garter, make a sling shot out've it and come back here and break every goddam window in the place!"
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?"
"Well," said the guy, "You see, I'm a more...
Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden new that, deep down, Andy was a good person. So, the warden made arrangements for the inmate to learn a trade while doing his more...
...a texas prison inmate was caught using a smuggled cell phone...he kept the phone hidden in his rectum with a ring tone that sounded like a fart, so no one noticed...the inmate reported the reception as crappy.
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted,"I am Napoleon!"Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!"Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"