"Are you normal?" joke

- Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
- 21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
- Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
- 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
- 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
- 91% lie regularly, so you can just throw away statistics like these based on their answers *grin*
- 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.
- 29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store.
- 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
- 90% believe in divine retribution (but apparently not for lying)
- 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
- 82% believe in an afterlife.
- 45% believe in ghosts.
- 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
- 29% are virgins when they marry.
- 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.
- 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.
- Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.
- 35% give to charity at least once a month.
- How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.
- 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
- When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
- Snickers is the most popular candy.
- 22% of us skip lunch daily.
- 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
- 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.
- Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
- 45% use mouthwash every day.
- 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
- The typical shower is 101 degrees F.
- Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
- 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
- 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
- 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
- 33% of women lie about their weight.
- 10% claim to have seen a ghost.
- 57% have had deja vu.
- 49% believe in ESP.
- 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.
- 44% have broken a bone.
- 14% have attended a self-help meeting.
- 15% regularly go to a shrink.
- 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
- 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up. What's up?
- 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
- 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
- 28.1% pee in the pool. Think about that next time you go swimming!
- 39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host... whoops, "uh.. just looking for the uh..."
- 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip it (his pants).
- 71.6% of us eavesdrop.
- 22% are functionally illiterate.
- Less than 10% are trilingual.
- 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
- 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
- 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
- 2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks. Now, make it TWO million and half the night...: )
- 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.
- 40% of us have had music lessons.
- 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
- 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
- 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary, mostly men, (and they say statistics don't lie. See 91% Americans lie regularly for details. Yeah, we know the rest of you men just
have wives who TELL you the anniversary is coming up!)
- 59% of us say we're average-looking.
- Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.
- 90% of us de