"Australian Olympic Questions Answered" joke
Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and the witty answers that go with them. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower... Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed... Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October... Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: And accomplish what? Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us... Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks... Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Yes. At Christmas. Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: Nope, only on Tuesdays LOL. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face North and you should be about right. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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