"Busy night in the garden" joke

A woman's garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatos won't ripen.
There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatos and she's getting
tired of it.
So she goes to her neighbor and says, ''Your tomatos are ripe, mine are green.
What can I do about it?''
Her neighbor replies, ''Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do.
Tonight there's no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your
clothes off. Tomatos can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and
blush. In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see.''
Well, what the heck? She does it.
Next day her neighbor asks how it worked.
''So-so,'' she answers. ''The tomatos are still green but the cucumbers are
all four inches longer.''
Guide for all women "A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING: I'M HUNGRY.I'm hungry. I'M SLEEPY.I'm sleepy. I'M TIRED.I'm tired. I'VE GOTTA GO.Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. WHAT'S WRONG? I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this. WHAT'S WRONG? What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.I liked it better before. YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.$50 and it doesn't look that much different! YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair! LET'S TALK, HONEY.I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.