"Patel's Accident" joke
There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Raju Patel, who was involved in a car accident. At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him.
"I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."
"Car crash! My Porsche! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.
"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.
"I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex!"
"Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries. You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you."
He asked for his family to be called in. As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name. "Shilpa, are you here?"
"I am here husband, and I will never leave you."
"Dilip, are you here?"
"I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Anil, are you here?"
"I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Priya, my child, are you here?"
"I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Well," said Raju thoughtfully, "if Shilpa, Dilip, Anil and Priya are here..... WHO THE HELL IS IN THE SHOP?"
there were three young poly boys on a road trip a samoan a tongan and a maori .. the tongan and maori wer in the back seet while the samoan was driving ..
the samoan lost controll and of the wheel and hit a tree ... all threee polly boys died .. they all got too the gate of more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...